Who knew I would be spending my Monday packing up what lies within the cabinets in my kitchen. Who knew I would be sorting through the things I have come to hold dear, deciding what will be kept and what will be sold in the yard a couple of weeks from now.
Who knew this calling I felt I had on my life from a young age would actually be so real. So close.
It’s true. I’ve spent a good portion of today packing away dishes and the few kitchen gadgets I will be keeping for the years ahead. But, the thing is, I’m not packing them to take with me on our move. Rather, I am carefully choosing things to be put away for a later time, many years from now, to come back to and rebuild our life here once again.
We are not taking much with us to Thailand. Little more than the clothes on our back… a few bags with necessities and clothing, Brook’s guitar, a camera, and our computers. We will literally be starting life over again. In some ways this is refreshing. Think of the excitement you once had when moving into your first home, purchasing your first set of plates and bowls, putting up curtains and placing rugs on the floor. It is exciting. It is all new, fresh, and completely your own creation. But, in other ways, it brings great sadness… do I really want to start all over?
Brook and I have been married just over 3 years now. We have built this life we have, all the while knowing that one day we would be headed back to Thailand for a long period of time. We have kept this calling to Thailand at the front of everything we do. Keep from getting too far into debt, keep paying off those student loans, keep life and belongings simple so we don’t get our roots set too deep. But, just how successful were we?
I think we’ve done a pretty good job of net setting our roots too deep, not accumulating too much in our few short years together in this home. But, we have still built our home. This house was a mere shell when we moved in. Dirty, old, falling apart… and we turned it into a clean, refinished, cozy little home. Siding, landscaping, porch, gardens, paint, plaster, fixtures, and the like. And yes, it hurts to be leaving our nest. Each time I go out to pick raspberries or prune my flower beds, I am reminded of the time and care I put into cultivating each of those things. I think about the vision I had to have to lay each garden out. The thorns I got stuck with trying to weave the raspberries through the fence each year so they would grow toward the yard and be easier to harvest. All of the time spent working on my hands and knees, watering all around the house, figuring out how to space plants so they would each fill in each during their respective blooming seasons, and this and that, and this and that. It almost seems ridiculous now, how much of myself I’ve put into this place…
… but because of my labor, now it will be here for someone else to sit back and enjoy.
Pretty soon we’ll be leaving our home, to set new roots in Thailand. We will have a new place to live, a new environment, a new language, a new climate, new animals, new bugs, new foods, new people. Pretty soon we will even start our own new little family… I honestly still can’t believe it’s true. This is really going to happen. We are moving to Thailand.
God continue to guide us as we move, keep us always near, and may we focus our eyes only on You. Even through tears and the breaking of our ties to this place, remind us of the calling You have placed on our lives, that You will provide everything we need, and we need not be afraid. Bless our families and friends as we say our goodbyes, giving them comfort in knowing that You are the One who has called us, and You will be the one to guide our every step. Give us peace in this journey, and the grace to make it through.